Today is Tuesday the 4th of May.Today would be my brother's 25th birthday,I normally just get on with it.But this year,this time it's different:This is the first time I'm away from home,this time I'm in first year of college with exams starting two days.
This time five years ago my brother was in the same situation.First year exams in trinity.I am pretty sure I'm going to fail a good few of my exams this semester,this year was pretty hard over all,sort of stepping into his shoes for me.
I can't shake the questions,How was he feeling in this situation? He got his exam results and had failed first year,5 hours later he was dead.
I can't help but compare myself to him,I'm in almost exactly the same situation.I have some pretty bad results coming my way.I don't know how I'll react to seeing it on paper.One of those little trials I have out in front of myself,to see if I can measure up.
it makes me wonder though,who would I be in a different life?What if nothing had happened?What would I be like? Would I be a better person?Would I be more successful?
at the very least it'd make things a lot easier having someone there who went before me.
I know so many people havn't got anyone older than them to ask for advice,but the difference that always makes it harder is that,he did and it was all too much for him in the end.
well,that got a bit heavy,most people come with emotional baggage.Here's me travelling with a freight train.
First blog post
2 years ago