Karma,you bitch

So, stuff what did happen lately;
My plan to leave and get a week in Dublin before college got crapped all over,but I'm here now \o/
I missed my Driving test by 2 hours [12;45 vs 2;45] sometimes,I wonder how I manage to keep the show on the road at all.

I actually prayed I'd pass, I genuinely have never prayed for anything in 6/7 years.I'm not religious or spiritual at all, I'd take the "god's a kid with the magnifying glass and we're the ants" approach.I kinda feel dirty about it now :/

Yesterday, on the bus up from home, I saw the body of a drowned woman being dragged out of the liffey as we went passed.It brought back all the memories of the day they found my brother, my world fucking split that day and all the pointless crap everyone else worries about just disappeared.I sort of realised why I'm so cluttered and have a thought process like rabbit on speed,it's self defence.People tell me, I'm heedless, heartless and even stupid because of it. It's the best option for me, keep thinking,keep your mind moving and don't focus on anything too often, it's why I always have music around me, a distraction.Why? the simple truth is, there's so much in my life that's out of my control, I think I'm better off not thinking about how much there is, I prefer missing half it.

It does make me wonder, what sort of an evil bastard must I be, to deserve this

But I will hold on hope
"And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in my pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again"

but most importantly; Ranelagh, FUCK YEAH. FREEDOM!!

"
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind"

"Oh if I could kidnap that feeling,the one that melts all this from your mind.I'd make no demands, no ransom.'Cos I'd never set it free"

This is the first free time I've had since I got back from the Gathering. it's the nerdiest thing I've ever done.Grown adults dressing up and fighting with swords, sounds nuts?it is, think I'm crazy for doing it? so do I, think it's unbelievably weird? me too.

Best weekend of my life? BOOM!

I met the nicest people,strangers I met on the ferry loaned me about 50 quids worth of stuff just because I was new,any time we went looking at gear people were happy to pay for it or give me gear instead, why? Because weird ass gamer/internet freaks are the nicest,kindest human beings I've ever met and guess what I'm darn proud to be one of them.

[Note:wow,it really is no surprise why I'm single,damn you nerddom!]

The downside,I made the mistake of giving a rough description of what I was at to my folks, basically said I was swordfighting for the weekend.The response? Laughed at and called a nut by my old man.

So,life is good overall.I'm almost free[5 days!!] I know what I like,I dodge the ridicule for doing it,I've people who don't care what I've come from,just who I am.I get to be me,not what I feel I have to be,that whole "Square peg,round hole" situation is coming to an end.

So o everyone who's given me so much shit;HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW BITCH!

Life,for now is good.No to sleep,in my awesome new flat in Dublin \o/