I should probably say,I'm rolling a D10[ten sided dice] to pick how I do these,D10's are only used for RPG's and I have a bag of them.I'm such a nerdy gamer.
# 4-Your sibling (or closest relative)
Thanks for being there so I can vent every now and then.Thanks for the tips on how to put up with the SH*T around this place.Thanks for living in Dublin and having an awesome couch ;).Thanks for leaving just before I was born,seriously, you got out young and turned out great,you're an inspiration and I'll probably never be able to tell you.I have to ask,did you really need to have that many kids? Do you regret dropping out of college when you got pregnant? and thanks for understanding everything,from what it's like moving out from the folks to my weird sense of humour.
You're the very best[like no one ever was :D]
# 8-Your favourite internet friend
Please write more,I hardly know you but I love everything I know so far.It's as much about what you say as it is how you say it.Don't be sad,I mean it kills me when you're like that and it shouldn't happen to you.Also,Don't be a stranger, come and say hi,surely you don't think I'm that bad?
#12-The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
This is an odd one; it's split and changes a lot between a few people;
1) Why? what did I do to deserve this? Why do you hate me so much? We should be close,I've tried to be,I lied far too much to make it happen.Now,just leave me alone,some things can't be fixed and it makes everything Shit for me when I try to fix them,you've had you're life now kindly just stay on the periphery of mine so I can have the best one I can.I get I'm not exactly how you wanted,things aren't the way you wanted,but for fuck's sake at least try and change before you make things worse,NO? of course not,you're always right,you're always most important,regardless of the cost.
2)"Where'd you go? I miss you so,seems like it's been forever,that you've been gone"
Why? you were the vest one,you were their favourite,they made it pretty obvious.Why did you do it? Could you not have been stronger?Could you not have said something?
Wherever you are,if I'm ever near you again,you're going to regret it.Did you not see what would happen?Were you that selfabsorbed with you're own shit that you didn't think of what it would do to the rest of us? What have you got to say for yourself? What reason can there be? You messed up you're career,it messed up my life.I could have been normal,worried about the usual stuff;girls,sports,clothes, but no,you took that away from me,I had to grow up then and there.I had to shoulder everyone else's tears,I had to pick up the pieces,I had to keep going.Why the fuck couldn't you do the same? You used to tell me I was a waste of space,I was a failure,I was the runt,I was the one wasn't good enough.Well,who the fuck were you? I'm still here,what did you ever accomplish? Selfdestruction that destroyed a lot more than just you.I owe you for going before me,you owe me for an entire lifetime being different to everyone else I'll ever know and nothing anyone can do will ever change that.The most important thing I want to say is:
"I'm still here and I do love you,idiot" now please get out of my head.
First blog post
11 months ago