"Weep for yourself my man,you'll never be what is in your heart"
"Weep Little Lion Man,you're not as brave as you were at the start"
I spend all my time writing this blog and I've never read it,hell half the time I don't even read the words on the screen as I write them[WOO! touch typing].I'm not going to lie,I'm afraid to,I'm afraid to see "what is in my heart" I don't want to see what it's like as a whole,what this makes me seem like.I'll only get defensive and change it or it'll become a conscious thing.Just thinking about it,I'm consciously trying to dilute down what must be a deluge of whingey angsty crap.So I weep for myself,I'll never be what I think I am,but thinking of me as something different,something better is as close as I'll get.
"Rate yourself and Rape yourself,take all the courage you have left"
"Wasted on fixing all the problems you made in your own head"
That's me size myself up,set myself up,just to be able to knock it down again.I wish I could convince my family,I'm not lazy dumb or useless,it just take all my effort and attention to force myself into what little they see me as,trying to keep my own head fixed enough to work is a full time job,especially with a full time job :/
/self indulgent blog
First blog post
2 years ago